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I've had an extremely long week. Long work hours, long home hours, tiredness, confusion, lots of emotions rolling around this week. None of them good, to be perfectly honest. This morning after a mild break down in the car (I feel like these are happening too frequently) I told myself to suck it up. People have it far worse than I do. I gathered my cup of coffee and sulked into work.  Each morning I get an email from our church. I signed up awhile ago to the Daily Devotional. It reminds me, usually, to start my day in a positive manner. Today, more than ever, I needed that email. 

 I feel overworked and unappreciated in almost every aspect of my life right now. I feel defeated and unprepared for what's ahead. The thought of the amount of changes in my life that are looming is causing a lot of anxiety for me. As I sat down at my desk huffing and puffing I opened up the email from Nativity and for the first time in what feels like weeks, I genuinely smiled. "Take a moment to ask Jesus where he might be asking you to get out of the boat, where he might be challenging you to leave your comfort zone. Then listen. Then act."

Message received. 

I Don't Like This Channel

I think I'll turn it...

A Crazy, Chaotic, Weekend

As I mentioned, the husband and I planned a getaway this weekend. A day and a half of shopping, gambling and just hanging out with one another. In theory, sounds like the perfect weekend. That is, until it started. 

Friday morning my sitter called me, she was concerned about a rash on the Peanut. I called our pedi and was told as long as the rash didn't spread, it was probably the end of her ear infection. I picked her up Friday afternoon and the rash on her chin disappeared. Her legs still had little bumps on them but for the most part it looked like it was clearing up. I drove home, got her fed, and put her pj's on for the ride to her G-dad's house where she would be spending the weekend. Still sounding pretty good? 

Here's where our plan starts to unravel. For starters, when we arrive in St. Mary's my husband asks me "Where are her clothes?" Are you wondering where her suitcase was? Yep, in Baltimore. Awesome, right? I drove to Target and got a weekend's worth of undershirts. socks, pj's and outfits. When I got back to my father-in-law's I checked on her rash. This is what my poor baby's belly and legs looked like. AWFUL! I stripped her down to a onesie and crossed my fingers it would be gone in the morning.

No such luck. Back to Baltimore we went to take her to the pedi. Our Peanut has a penicillin allergy. This horrible looking rash, which got worse, couldn't be treated with any medications. It had to work itself out. I checked with the pedi and got the okay to leave her with G-dad to continue on to our mini-vacation. Despite an itchy rash covering 60% of her body, she was in a great mood.

Things started to pick up from here. We did a little shopping, for us and for her. We checked into our hotel, which was amazing (thanks to the recommendation from my co-workers, even though we had very LOUD neighbors) and headed out for a night on the town.

We made a trip to the Ocean and even though it was too cold and too rainy to put my toes in the sand it was still nice to see waves crashing while enjoying a beer in hand. We spent the night rekindling an amazing friendship we share. I forgot how much I enjoyed spending (alone) time with my husband. Our friendship is probably my favorite part of our relationship. We can talk for hours about absolutely nothing.

We packed up Sunday morning, had breakfast at a little hole in the wall and ventured back to Baltimore to reunite with the Peanut and the Tuck. Despite a chaotic start, it really was a nice weekend. And the Peanut's rash is definitely improving. The fiery rash has been replaced with hives. 

 On the plus side, the Peanut has figured out how to use her hands to eat finger foods. She picked up a  several  puff last and ate it by herself for the first time. Very cool thing to watch her figure out how this whole eating alone thing works! All in all it was a great weekend. In parenthood, there is no such thing as easy. It just took me awhile to figure that out. Onward and upwards! 

I Do Remember

I do remember what a happy go lucky, blue eyed girl is like. I do remember days filled with giggles and smiles. I do remember what it's like to get more than two hours of sleep! How do I remember? My peanut is back to her giggly smiley self. Whatever was happening she worked it out, whether it be a growth spurt, or teeth, girlfriend is doing a-okay. Eating like a champ, almost sleeping like a champ, and certainly smiling like a champ. 

I wonder if she is going to look back at these pictures and think what an ugly couch, Mom!

On a different note, the husband and I are taking a night away from our Peanut to spend some "us" time together. My father-in-law has excitedly agreed to hang out with our girl. While I'm going to probably worry the entire night if she's okay, it will be great to have some quality time with my husband. To relax and get a night of just us. We're staying at fancy hotel and might take a trip down to the beach, even though the weather is frigid I wouldn't mind putting my toes in the sand. With the cold and the gloomy weather we've had for the past two months, a nice change of pace is in order.

I won't have to worry about dishes or laundry or a cluttered house for a day or so and while I'm at it I might splurge on a new outfit or two (there is an outlet mall on the way).

Yes, a night out with my husband is just what the doctor ordered and this girl is happy to oblige!

Remember?

Remember this baby? Happy, smiley, loves to laugh and giggle, hardly ever cries, eats like a champ, sleeps like a champ? 

Yeah! Me too! Where is she?! This baby has now been replaced by a cranky, fussy, won't eat, won't sleep, won't do anything but cry and flail around baby. What? How? Why? I'm asking myself those same questions. 

Her ear infection seems to be clearing up so I'm suspecting teething. Or maybe a growth spurt? All I know is I have forgotten how sleep deprived I can get. Exhausted doesn't even come close to how I'm feeling this morning.  I'm sure this is a phase and will pass. 

But I am reminded that I am NOT any where close to being ready for Baby Number 2. And that is okay.

On the upside, the Peanut is very close to crawling. She gets up on her little butt and rocks back and forth. Before we know it, we're going to have a mover!

Happy Valentine's Day

Back to my normal cheerful programmed self.

Happy Valentines Day to two of my favorite people!!

One of whom happens to be running a fever and will be taking a trip to the pediatrician this afternoon.

First Valentine's Day

Rockin my Valetine's Day Bib

My Vday Pj's

In his natural habitat

One of my favorite pictures of us

It's Not Always Rainbows

Life is not always grand. I, among many, have learned that lately. Now don't get me wrong, the baby is healthy, my husband is healthy, and I am mostly healthy (I'm 90% sure I have a stomach ulcer). But life has been draining lately. Emotionally, mentally, and apparently physically. I am giving a 120% at work, a 120% with the Peanut, and a 120% in my marriage and at the end of the day I don't have much left for me. I am drained. I am tired. I am exhausted. But I am getting up each day chugging along, going through the motions trying to make the best of our current situation. It's not fun, it's not easy, but it's necessary.

I know this trying time will pass. I know better days are ahead of us and I do the best I can to stay positive. I try not to complain, but sometimes I just want to shout as loud as I can how much life sucks right now. Will it do any good? Probably not. But it might make me feel better.

Motherhood is hard. Marriage is hard. Managing friendships is hard. Life is just plain and simple hard right now. I will keep focusing on the positives, I will remind myself every day that I have a plethora of things to be grateful for. 

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel...

7 Month Celebration

Happy 7 Month birthday to our Peanut who is growing leaps and bounds every day. 

You are doing so many new things every day, you are constantly amazing us!

This has been a big month for you Peanut! Two nights ago you said your first real word-- da da. Mommy said da da and you repeated it back to her. I guess the 300 million times mommy said ma ma just didn't stick. Of course, Daddy is over the moon about this and smiles ear to ear every time you say da da da da over and over again. Mommy recorded you saying it last night and has listened to it 100 times and has sent it to so many friends and family members. 

You also can growl (thank you Tucker?) and can babble ba ba, pa pa, ga ga, and say something with an r. I've heard you say mama once while babbling but I'm pretty sure it was a fluke as we haven't heard you say it again.

Standing all by yourself on Super Bowl Sunday

You can stand by yourself! Only for a short period of time, and when you're done you just plunk down but still, you can stand!!

You are a wonderful baby to take anywhere, still. And I hope that continues. Whether at a party with 50 people or just a few when Mommy and Daddy have friends over, you are the easiest baby to entertain. We love to dress you up and take you wherever we go. You are usually the hit of the room and most of the time you work the room better than Mommy and Daddy.

At an aunt's retirement party

You had your second ear infection this month and it was not fun for anyone. You were very clingy and fussed a lot but we understand, that silly 'ole ear of yours hurt and you just didn't know why. Thankfully, your medicine has kicked in and you are back to your smiley, silly self. We are so glad you're back to your old self, we missed you! 

Not having a good time

You are a champ at sitting and eating in your big high chair. We retired the smaller high chair we were using since you're such a big girl now. You love to sit in your chair while Mommy and Daddy and Grandma are eating dinner and play with your toys. Mommy tried to get you to eat a puff the other day and you acted like she was giving you poison, we're not there just yet but we will be any day. You had your first taste of yogurt and you were a little confused. We'll try again in a couple days and see if you like it any better.

In your high chair

You can now grab two different toys in each hand. You're learning that if you bang them together, you create noise. It is fun to watch you discover this. You have a bucket of blocks that you are learning to grab from, you haven't quite figured out how to put them back in, but you're working on that too.

You still love to play on your mat with your toys, even though you spend most of the time rolling trying to get to or from things. You are almost crawling! You look like an inch worm trying to get from point A to point B. Daddy was for sure you were going to crawl when he was home for lunch today but instead you rolled to get your pacifier. Poor Tucker won't know what's happened when you learn to really move.

Playing on the mat

You have decided that bedtime is anywhere from 7:00 to 8:00pm which is great but you've also decided that wake up time has moved from 6:30 to 5:30. Mommy and Daddy don't love that. We're hoping it's a phase and you'll go back to sleeping in a little for us. You've also learned to cry when you don't get something you want. Especially if Mommy puts you down and you don't want to be. You've learned to hold your arms up when you want to picked up and if we don't pick you up you cry. You can fake laugh which is very funny to all of us, including you. 

It's amazing how much you've grown in 7 months! We love you so, so, much and can't wait to see what new things you learn!