Moments

Quite some time has passed since my last post. I could use work as an excuse, I've pulled a lot of overtime in the past month or so. I could blame home.  My husband is struggling right now, battling something of his own. But that's his story to tell. I could just say life has gotten in the way, as it tends to do. But really I probably just got lazy.

However, here I am. Staring at a white screen trying to organize my thoughts that seem so scatterbrained lately. Life has been difficult. My plate seems full. Yet every time I think it can't get harder, it does. So I'm going to quit saying that. Pity party table of 1 needs to vacate the premises because life could be much harder. As it is for a very dear friend of mine right.

I got a phone call on Saturday that no friend.... that no one... wants. One of my very best friend's had  her world turned upside down with the tragic passing of her husband. A man who would have helped anyone... literally... as he passed away trying to assist strangers. He left behind not only his wife, but their two small children; ages 2 & 3.

The unfairness of the situation unnerves me. The lack of understanding unsettles me. And the fact that life is so unpredictable and short has shaken me to the core. I just keep staring at everything around me, it all looks the same, smells the same, and to unknowing passerby's it feels the same, but it's not. And it won't ever be. Especially for their young family.

I cannot imagine life without my husband. The mere thought makes my stomach curdle. Yet we are quick to fuss and fight over every day trivial things. We are quick to blame one another. Quick to roll an eye or scoff. For what purpose? For what gain? If I've learned anything over the past three days, it's that life is far too short. We should be quicker to kiss a little longer, hug a little tighter, linger a little longer. We are the lucky ones. The fortunate few. Every day we get with one another is a day longer than some.

I take life for granted too often. I complain too much about things that don't really matter in the grand scheme. I will be forever sadden that it has taken this life event for my eyes to open. My heart literally breaks in a million pieces every time I think of what "normal" will be for their family now.  But every day ahead is an opportunity to seize the moment.

He would have wanted that, encouraged it even. He was a great man, who played hard and loved his family harder.

I hope you're drinking a good beer buddy. You deserve it.