I posted one for Dads a week or so ago so I thought I'd post one for Moms. The Peanut turns 5 months on Wednesday so more about her, then.
1. Paint her nails. Then let her
scratch it off and dirty them up. Teach her to care for her appearance,
and then quickly remind her that living and having fun is most important.
2. Let her put on your makeup, even
if it means bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her
experiment in her attempts to be like you...then let her be herself.
3. Let her be wild. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or she may want to hop on the back of a motorcycle-gasp. She
may be a homebody or a traveler. She may fall in love with the wrong
boy, or meet Mr. Right at age 5. Try to remember that you were her age
once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own.
4.
Be present. Be there for her at her Kindergarten performances, her
dance recitals, her soccer games…her everyday-little-moments. When she
looks through the crowds of people, she will be looking for your smile
and pride. Show it to her as often as possible.
5.
Encourage her to try on your shoes and play dress-up. If she would
rather wear her brother's superman cape with high heels, allow it. If
she wants to wear a tutu or dinosaur costume to the grocery store, why
stop her? She needs to decide who she is and be confident in her
decision.
6.
Teach her to be independent. Show her by example that women can be
strong. Find and follow your own passions. Search for outlets of
expression and enjoyment for yourself-not just your husband or children.
Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you
to be. Know who you are as a person, and help your daughter find out
who she is.
7. Pick flowers with her. Put them in her hair. There is nothing more beautiful than a girl and a flower.
8.
Let her get messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much it makes you
cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud pies,
finger paint the walls: just let it happen. The most wonderful of
memories are often the messy ones.
9.
Give her good role models- you being one of them. Introduce her
to successful woman - friends, co-workers, doctors, astronauts, or
authors. Read to her about influential woman - Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa
Parks, Marie Curie. Read her the words of inspirational woman - Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson. She should know that anything is possible.
10. Show her affection. Daughters will mimic the compassion of their mother. “I love yous” and Eskimo kisses go a long way.
11.
Hold her hand. Whether she is 3 years-old in the parking lot or sixteen
years old in the mall, hold on to her always - this will teach her to
be confident in herself and proud of her family.
12.
Believe in her. It is the moments that she does not believe in
herself that she will need to believe enough for both of you. Whether
it is a spelling test in the first grade, a big game or recital, a first date, or the first day of college. Remind her of the independent and capable woman you have taught her to be.
13.
Tell her how beautiful she is. Whether it is her first day of
Kindergarten, immediately after a soccer game where she is grass-stained
and sweaty, or her wedding day. She needs your reminders. She needs
your pride. She needs your reassurance. She is only human.
14. Love her father. Teach her to love a good man, like him. One who lets her be herself…she is after all wonderful.
15.
Make forts with boxes and blankets. Help her to find magic in the
ordinary, to imagine, to create and to believe in fairy tales. Someday
she will make her 5 by 5 dorm-room her home with magic touches and
inspiration. And she will fall in love with a boy and believe him to be
Prince Charming.
16.
Read to her. Read her Dr. Seuss and Eric Carle. But also remember the
power of Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost. Show her the beauty of words on a
page and let her see you enjoy them. Words can be simply written and
simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Help her to find their
meaning.
17.
Teach her how to love- with passion and kisses. Love her passionately.
Love her father passionately and her siblings passionately. Express your
love. Show her how to love with no restraint. Let her get her heart
broken and try again. Let her cry, and gush, giggle and scream. She will
love like you love or hate like you hate. So, choose love for both you
and her.
18.
Encourage her to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her - even if it
sounds or looks horrible. Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her
dance on her daddy's feet and spin in your arms. Then later, let her
blast noise and headbang in her bedroom with her door shut if she wants.
Or karaoke to Tom Petty in the living room if she would rather.
Introduce her to the classics - like The Beatles- and listen to her
latest favorite - like Taylor Swift. Share the magic of music together,
it will bring you closer - or at least create a soundtrack to your life
together.
19.
Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let her
tell you about boys, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share
dreams, hopes, concerns. She is not only your daughter, you are not only
her mother. Be her friend too.
20.
Teach her manners. Because sometimes you have to be her mother, not
just her friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite
words and smiles.
21.
Teach her when to stand-up and when to walk away. Whether she has
classmates who tease her because of her glasses, or a boyfriend who
tells her she is too fat - let her know she does not have to
listen. Make sure she knows how to demand respect - she is worthy of it.
It does not mean she has to fight back with fists or words, because
sometimes you say more with silence. Also make sure she knows which
battles are worth fighting. Remind her that some people can be mean and
nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help her to
understand when to shut her mouth and walk-away. Teach her to be the
better person.
22.
Let her choose who she loves. Even when you see through the charming
boy she thinks he is, let her love him without your disapproving words;
she will anyway. When he breaks her heart, be there for her with words
of support rather than I told-you-so. Let her mess up again and again
until she finds the one. And when she finds the one, tell her.
23. Mother her. Being a mother - to her - is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments.
Share with her the joys of motherhood, so one day she will want to be a
mother too. Remind her over and over again with words and kisses that
no one will ever love her like you love her. No one can replace or
replicate a mother's love for their children.
24.
Comfort her. Because sometimes you just need your mommy. When she is
sick, rub her back, make her soup and cover her in blankets - no matter
how old she is. Someday,
if she is giving birth to her own child, push her hair out of her face,
encourage her, and tell her how beautiful she is. These are the
moments she will remember you for. And someday when her husband rubs
her back in attempt to comfort her...she may just whisper, "I need my
mommy."
25.
Be home. When she is sick with a cold or broken heart, she will come
to you; welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to
you to share her news; embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she
will search for you; find her. When she needs advice on boys, schools,
friends or an outfit; tell her. She is your daughter and will always
need a safe harbor - where she can turn a key to see comforting eyes and
a familiar smile; be home.
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