Bedrooms and boxes

To say this week has been rough would be an understatement. I've missed the normalcy of life so much this week that it literally pains me to think about. While we've mostly settled in to our new, temporary home, I'm still living between bedrooms and boxes. Some clothes here, other clothes there, still searching for things that I need from time to time. I miss my 20 minute commute. I miss my morning breakfast club. I miss my bed. I miss my room. I miss my daughter's nursery. I miss my home. I miss everything that used to be that is no more.

I am extremely grateful to my father-in-law for letting us stay with him. He is a great host and very flexible. But it's not my home. I feel like a guest. I feel compelled to pick up every toy before I go to bed, to make sure bottles don't stay in the sink longer than a day, to throw every piece of trash in the garbage the minute it's produced. After a stressful day, I feel even more stress. I don't even feel like I have the comfort of my mom anymore. I see her for maybe 10 minutes in the morning. The afternoon/evening is a rush of dinner, household chores and bed time routines. This will all change once I establish a new routine. My anxiety will calm down and I will adapt to a new normal.  But for now, I'm in a whirlwind of emotions and just trying to get by a day at a time.

A wise person once told me you aren't growing if you're not outside your comfort zone.  Well there isn't any part of me in any sort of comfort zone right now. It will get better. It will get better. It will get better.