The Facini household had a JAM PACKED weekend. I can hardly believe it's 9:00pm on Sunday night. Friday after worked kicked off a bunch of running around that we neglected all week. Saturday, our day started bright and early--the husband took the Peanut to her Zumbini class and I helped set up for a bridal shower for an awesome lady! We had a 1pm birthday party for a dude that I can't believe is 10 followed by dinner with my brother and sister -in-law. Saturday night I did some last minute things for the bridal shower followed by a full day of wedding shower bliss today. I did squeeze in some outdoor time with my favorite people tonight, while the weather was still nice. The husband picked up shrimp for dinner and after concocting our own barbecue sauce, he made us grilled barbecue shrimp for dinner. He handled bedtime for the Peanut tonight so I could catch up with a good friend and fold a trillion loads of laundry. Whew! I need a weekend from my weekend.
I've been meaning to post about our Towson weekend with friends and Valentine's Day but things have been crazy in our house. I feel like I haven't been home in a month. As evidence by the state of my house right now. Hell, if the husband and I didn't tag team laundry today, we'd be buying clothes to wear tomorrow.
Things are headed to a slower pace, we have no plans this upcoming weekend and I'm keeping it that! My house is going to get a good cleaning and I'm going to spend some quality time with my little lady and husband.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
I'm Still Learning
Last week was a tough one for the husband and myself. 2.5 years into our marriage we had our second big fight. Now we bicker all the time, what married couple doesn't, but this was a days long, can't fully sleep, can't really eat, just plain crappy fight. After a night of overindulging, we had the kind of argument that I'm glad to call a rarity in our marriage. But, to perfectly honest, I'm glad we had it out. Why? I took away a lot of valuable lessons.
I've been with the husband since I was 12 years old. To say I know him like the back of my hand would be an understatement. But, we don't share a brain. Unless we communicate, regularly and effectively, my knowledge of him is a moot point. It's possible and highly likely that I say one thing and he thinks I mean another. Unless he asks for clarification, or I offer it, a small thing can run a long train.
The husband and I talk a lot. Every day. Through different mediums. Email, text, phone, in-person and some times through social media. But it's mundane, every day, what's for dinner kind of talk. We need to do a better job of communicating... in-person. So the lines aren't blurred. So the tone of an email isn't misconstrued, so facial expressions can be read, so follow up questions can be asked.
Our conversations need to be more than just the mundane aspects of life... more in-depth about what's going on with us. We often graze over issues when speaking in-person, only to fire off an email the next day. When we finally sat down on Sunday/Monday night and talked things through, after a week of ass-half fighting, we both felt relieved. We both smiled genuine smiles. And we both woke up this morning feeling a helluva a lot better than any day last week.
Lastly this weekend taught me not to take my husband for granted, to appreciate his small acts of kindness, to always validate his feelings, even if I don't agree with them. 15 years together, almost 3 married and we're still learning. Every day. I'm proud of that. When things get old or stale, when we stop fighting as passionately as we love, then I'll be worried. For now, just par for the course.
We had a pretty awesome weekend despite that minor the hiccup. More to come on that later.
I've been with the husband since I was 12 years old. To say I know him like the back of my hand would be an understatement. But, we don't share a brain. Unless we communicate, regularly and effectively, my knowledge of him is a moot point. It's possible and highly likely that I say one thing and he thinks I mean another. Unless he asks for clarification, or I offer it, a small thing can run a long train.
The husband and I talk a lot. Every day. Through different mediums. Email, text, phone, in-person and some times through social media. But it's mundane, every day, what's for dinner kind of talk. We need to do a better job of communicating... in-person. So the lines aren't blurred. So the tone of an email isn't misconstrued, so facial expressions can be read, so follow up questions can be asked.
Our conversations need to be more than just the mundane aspects of life... more in-depth about what's going on with us. We often graze over issues when speaking in-person, only to fire off an email the next day. When we finally sat down on Sunday/Monday night and talked things through, after a week of ass-half fighting, we both felt relieved. We both smiled genuine smiles. And we both woke up this morning feeling a helluva a lot better than any day last week.
Lastly this weekend taught me not to take my husband for granted, to appreciate his small acts of kindness, to always validate his feelings, even if I don't agree with them. 15 years together, almost 3 married and we're still learning. Every day. I'm proud of that. When things get old or stale, when we stop fighting as passionately as we love, then I'll be worried. For now, just par for the course.
We had a pretty awesome weekend despite that minor the hiccup. More to come on that later.
Monday, February 3, 2014
Kumbaya
I follow a ton of blogs; parenting, home improvement, cooking, single, married, animal lovers... you name it and there is probably a blog on my Digg reader that will align with your request. I also occasionally read viral blog posts. Some are funny, some are tear jerkers and some just make me shake my head. One viral post I've seen around social media lately centers around anti-marriage and anti-parenting. This has sparked a number of rebuttal blog posts, this being one. Sort of.
I don't get it. I really don't. What is about other folks lives that people wish to critique so harshly. So what if you don't want to get married, so what if you don't want to to have kids. What makes it your job to convince the rest of the world that your lifestyle is 'the chosen one'? And on the same token, if you want to have an army of little minions. Kudos to you. If you want to live on the water with six cats and a parrot...that's your prerogative. It's like single folks, married folks and parental folks can't co-exist. If you're in one category, you can't fit in another. Friends vs. Seinfeld-esque.We spend most of our lives fitting in, ticking off boxes on forms. Why must we constantly remind one another about it. More so, why must we prove our way is the better way.
I have a large base of friends that are all in different places in life. Some are single and traveling the world, some are happily married with animals they treat like family, some are already on their third child. Their lifestyle choices do not impact me, you, or the girl next door.
There are aspects in life that carry more flavor from one phase to the next. Was life without my Peanut easier? Sure, in some regards. But life without Tucker was more carefree, too. Does that mean I regret one phase of life after I've moved past it? Of course not. I live and breathe my husband and Peanut (and Tucker). I absolutely, would not want to live this life without any of them. And one day in our future we will hopefully add on our to family. Will we miss life with just one child? Maybe aspects of it. But we certainly won't regret bringing another life into this world.
There are no instructions in life. You cannot follow one set of directions and be guaranteed a desired outcome. You can follow your gut, you can make the best decisions possible, you can pray often but at the end of the day, life is never quite like you plan it. It can be perfect one day and a storm the next. Life is too complicated and too hard to constantly beat others up because of their lifestyle choices. I've spent too much time in my life worrying about things I cannot control. How someone else should live their life, or shouldn't live their life, is none of my business, your business and it sure as hell isn't the neighbor's business.
So this is an ode to singles, married, single with kids, married without kids, traditional families, non-traditional families and every walk of life in between. Live your own life. Be happy with the choices you make. If you're not happy with your choices, change them. Surround yourself with people who love you for you, not what you do or don't bring to the table. In the words of Florida Georgia Line (who put on an amazing concert by the way) "This life I live it might not be for you, but it's for me though"
I don't get it. I really don't. What is about other folks lives that people wish to critique so harshly. So what if you don't want to get married, so what if you don't want to to have kids. What makes it your job to convince the rest of the world that your lifestyle is 'the chosen one'? And on the same token, if you want to have an army of little minions. Kudos to you. If you want to live on the water with six cats and a parrot...that's your prerogative. It's like single folks, married folks and parental folks can't co-exist. If you're in one category, you can't fit in another. Friends vs. Seinfeld-esque.We spend most of our lives fitting in, ticking off boxes on forms. Why must we constantly remind one another about it. More so, why must we prove our way is the better way.
I have a large base of friends that are all in different places in life. Some are single and traveling the world, some are happily married with animals they treat like family, some are already on their third child. Their lifestyle choices do not impact me, you, or the girl next door.
There are aspects in life that carry more flavor from one phase to the next. Was life without my Peanut easier? Sure, in some regards. But life without Tucker was more carefree, too. Does that mean I regret one phase of life after I've moved past it? Of course not. I live and breathe my husband and Peanut (and Tucker). I absolutely, would not want to live this life without any of them. And one day in our future we will hopefully add on our to family. Will we miss life with just one child? Maybe aspects of it. But we certainly won't regret bringing another life into this world.
There are no instructions in life. You cannot follow one set of directions and be guaranteed a desired outcome. You can follow your gut, you can make the best decisions possible, you can pray often but at the end of the day, life is never quite like you plan it. It can be perfect one day and a storm the next. Life is too complicated and too hard to constantly beat others up because of their lifestyle choices. I've spent too much time in my life worrying about things I cannot control. How someone else should live their life, or shouldn't live their life, is none of my business, your business and it sure as hell isn't the neighbor's business.
So this is an ode to singles, married, single with kids, married without kids, traditional families, non-traditional families and every walk of life in between. Live your own life. Be happy with the choices you make. If you're not happy with your choices, change them. Surround yourself with people who love you for you, not what you do or don't bring to the table. In the words of Florida Georgia Line (who put on an amazing concert by the way) "This life I live it might not be for you, but it's for me though"
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