So Long, See Ya, Sayonara

15 months ago our life drastically changed. Drastically. Our daughter was born and my husband's mother passed away. All within three weeks.

In the middle of the night, with red puffy eyes and a frog in his throat, my husband looked at me and said "I don't care what we have to do, we're moving home." I nodded my head. If the tables were turned, I would want him to be supportive. He told his Dad that night we were going to move home eventually and his Dad said to him, "Don't do anything irrational right now". The wheels in my husband's head were already grinding. It took 8 months but my husband found a job in St. Mary's and we packed up our tiny townhouse, with the help of many family and friends, and headed South.

I transitioned from the Baltimore office to the DC office, I was lucky that my bosses were flexible enough for me to continue my job in a different location. So while everything around me was changing, I still had the consistency of my job. The commute wasn't terrible when I started riding the bus, I got an hour and a half of free time in the afternoon. The commute wasn't terrible, but the time away from home was. The Peanut was ready for a bath and bed shortly after I got home in the evenings. The time she spent with my mom and husband tripled the time she spent with me at a week's end and it was KILLING me. The first time she reached for my mom instead of me when she was upset I literally almost cried.

So, when I got the opportunity for a job closer to home, one that would allow us to eat dinner as a family, one that would allow me a day off every other week, I couldn't turn it down. I am thrilled to be able to make myself more available to my girl and my family. She's only little once. The other part of me; however, is SO, SO sad.

I'm closing the door, completely, on my Baltimore life. And that makes me sad. I'm saying sayonara to a job I've been great at, a job where I make a tangible difference in other people's lives. I'm saying so long to a group of people who threw me a bridal shower and then 13 months later threw me a baby shower. I'm saying see ya to happy hours with folks that lasted way longer than they should have. I'm saying good bye to a group of people who have been my second family for 6 years, who watched me transition from a 21 year old, reckless intern to a 27 year old mother. People who have acted as second mothers and mentors but most of all friends.

Life is strange and crazy. I've returned back to a place I thought I'd never live again and honestly, I don't hate it. I'm leaving a job I never thought I'd quit. Ever. And I don't love it.  I am; however, excited for my next endeavor. I start my new gig next Wednesday, pending everything checks out okay (fingers crossed). Today I'm in DC, wrapping up the little bit of stuff I have here and Tuesday I wrap up my last day ever in Baltimore.

Ahhh... life is a beautiful mess.