A Dreary Monday

I love being a mom and I adore our little girl more than anything in the world, but (there's always a but) I wish someone would have or could have prepared me for the onslaught of emotions and anxiety that comes along with motherhood. Anxiety is a tricky thing even if your sure of something your mind can misled you. I feel like even though the hardest, most sleep deprived days are behind us, the anxiety hasn't really lessened for me. There are still days I have a hard time keeping food in my stomach, let alone finding an appetite. I asked my mom the other day when it's get better and I jokingly said, "16" and her response was "it gets worse then, she'll be driving".

I know all new mothers go through this and I'm sure with the second, should we decide to have another,  I will be more relaxed but I guess I just wasn't prepared for how crazy my mind would get. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Our girl is happy, healthy and thriving (with the exception of stuffy nose right now). I couldn't ask for more. Yet, my guard isn't ready to be let down yet.

If anyone asked me the hardest thing about motherhood, it wouldn't be the sleepless nights which are far less sleepless these days as our Peanut is sleeping through the night! It would be the worry. But then again, I should've known that comes with parenting. After all, I'm 26 and my mom still asks me to text her when I get home from the two hour drive from my hometown.

The weather lately certainly does not help. I'm already missing the sunshine of summer!