Not My Golden Rule

The golden rule of marriage, or at least what I perceive to be the golden rule of marriage, is to not go to bed angry. I don't believe in that rule. Not one little bit. There are plenty of nights I go to bed angry at my husband. I believe in digesting information and emotions before letting them explode. I have a mandatory two hour cool down window when I'm legit angry about something. Any sort of emotional release prior to that window and you're at risk of  being on the receiving end of shrapnel.  Ranting and raving might make one's self feel better but that's what your girlfriends are for, not your spouse. Name calling or leveraging a split is immature and self-serving. I'm not saying that the occasional outburst isn't warranted or needed but on average I've learned you get a lot further by having an actual conversation.

My girlfriend and I were talking the other night about the ridiculousness that ensues when couples fight. The lengths people go to torture the other during a fight is absurd. I've had my fair share of nasty fights with the husband, when I was much younger, but lately I've learned we can avoid the headache and heartache that partners with fighting if we remember we're not 12.

The last few weeks have not been a walk in the park. I've been sour a many a night and put myself to bed waaaaay too early just to avoid the boiling volcano of emotions. We've had many chats, some offering solutions, some where we simply had to agree to disagree. But with the right attitude, any grievance can be resolved. At the end of the day,  I got married I meant for better or worse. If we can't have a decent conversation about our disagreements, there is going to be a whole lot more worse than better. Sometimes, it's just better to sleep it off. Or at least toss and turn for a few hours.