Life

Five years ago, I was fresh out of college and ready to change the world. Not a newbie to the working world, I suited up and headed to my first "big kid" interview. I didn't take that job but instead took the next one. It paid a little more and I liked the environment, the people seemed nice. A half-year into that job I started looking into law schools, I was going to change the world through law. A year into that job, my dream job opened up and I excitedly accepted the position. I KNEW I was going to change the world. I had the motivation and the resources to make it happen. And I did. Still do. I've been fortunate enough to work in a position where I can see the tangible change in people's lives. I've been blessed to be able to turn a desperate situation into one with a light at the end of the tunnel.

I preface this because I had an epiphany Saturday night. One that was maybe sad to realize, in a sense. Five years ago I was ready to work 14 hour days, climb the ladder, spend evenings (not just an hour or two) after work at my favorite bar with coworkers and friends. Fast forward five years to July 2012. My priorities shifted. In a huge way. Don't get me wrong, I'm still ready to fight the fight and continue making a huge difference in people's lives, it's an adrenaline high that I get without jumping out of a plane, but when 4:30 rolls around, I'm walking out of the door to head home to my girl and husband. Maybe I never was a ladder climber per se. A good solider yes, but maybe I never was the commander I thought I was. In 10 years from now, I'll almost certainly be in another position, not because I don't love working here but the longevity of my career rests on my boss who won't do this job forever. The realization of this made me ponder what I will do next. The short and simple of it is I don't know and that's scary for me.

What I do know is after I had this breakdown, which entailed a little more than I'm willing to share at this point, my husband said the best thing to me that he could have possibly said in that moment. "Do what you want, we'll figure it out, you know I will support you 100%."  While I have no immediate plans, it was nice to know the option was there.  It made me reflect and think if I would have handled that situation with as much grace as he did, if the positions were reversed. He is my number one biggest supporter and I am constantly reminded of that. I hope he knows I am his biggest fan and I will make more of an effort to make sure he knows whatever he pursues I'm right there behind him.

Life never ceases to surprise me. I know I've said this before but we have big plans for 2013, I pray 2013 has big plans for us. Leaping to good things, I hope!